Female Of The Species
by DarkSabertooth
Summary: An experiment goes drastically wrong transforming Sinister into a beautiful woman.With no way to turn himself back he needs the help of a certain furry blue mutant.Will Beast be willing to help or will he need a little persuasion?
1. Default Chapter

**Female of the Species**

****

"Oh I lack not for many things, strength, intelligence, dexterity, looks, cuddly blue fur, fame, all the Twinkies I can eat and a T-Shirt signed by Britney Spears. Still I lack the most important thing that a man can have, the love of a good woman. Yes this furry blue ape, this fuzzy werewolf feels so lonely right now, I mean the only woman in my life is Jubilee and while she's a wonderful friend she's far too young. Oh woe is me, my heart shall break, oh my stars and garters, every Beast needs his Belle and alas mine has lost its clapper,"

Hank sighed heavily and went back to burying his head in his hands. His on again off again relationship with Trish Tilby was presently in its off phase again. No doubt sooner or later they'd drift back together probably when she felt it wouldn't be damaging her career to be seen with a mutant, even a famous biochemist, ex-Avenger like Hank. As for Cecilia Reyes she was away and would be for some time in her new post as head researcher looking into a cure for the Legacy Virus. He couldn't really find a suitable excuse for undertaking the trip to Muir Island. All the other X-Women seemed to be spoken for and well he just couldn't seem to find the energy to start a new relationship. He knew if he waited long enough he'd probably get back with Trish or Cecilia but for now he was lonely. If only the right woman would come along and find it in her heart to love him.

He looked in the mirror eying his bestial countenance critically, well he did look somewhat intimidating admittedly at first glance but was he really so frightening. No women surprisingly seemed to find his appearance quite attractive; he was often asked if he minded if they just stroked his fur. Then they would marvel at how soft it was and he'd smile and admit that maybe he ought to find a better razor. Still he blinked his gentle blue eyes and wondered whether it would have been an easier life if he hadn't changed, he'd always looked different but he had looked somewhat more human. He growled and shook his head to clear it, no use moping about that and he never usually bothered with whining about his appearance. Quite the opposite, he loved the way he looked. Steeling his resolve he firmly told himself that he was going to stop feeling so sorry about his present lack of a girlfriend. Anyway he had an appointment for a lecture at a local university the next day so he'd focus on that.

"Stars and garters, I probably just need some Twinkies and then I'll feel fine. Maybe if I ask her nicely Jubilee will stroke my fur for me," 

**The laboratory of Nathaniel Essex**

Victor Creed had come running as soon as he heard the explosion and Sinister's panicked screaming. He stopped short and sniffed the air, catching a scent of lilacs, sandalwood and peppermint, not the type of odors he'd normally associate with Essex's experiment. Creed growled a little under his breath and scratched at his muttonchops with a claw, now what had Sinister told him about the work? It was something about genetically enhancing mutations, mutating mutants to the ultimate degree. That was why he'd asked Sabretooth to join him by promising that he could make him an even more effective fighting machine. Creed had been happy to oblige but Sinister had wanted to make sure that there wouldn't be any more unforeseen side effects. Apparently the first test had caused 'aesthetically displeasing' results and had warned Creed that right now, he might end up looking like a bleached blonde Beast. Now according to Essex he'd perfected the technique now and this latest experiment was expected to confirm that everything was ready. Creed thoughtfully rubbed the stubble on his chin; obviously it wasn't quite as perfected as Sinister had thought.

"Creed, get in here immediately, something has gone most dreadfully wrong. Do you hear me Creed, I said get yourself in here right now," Essex's strident voice seemed somewhat higher than usual, almost contralto.

Creed shrugged and decided he might as well go in before Sinister started giving himself ulcers. He stopped dead in his tracks in the doorway, amber eyes blinking in disbelief, heart racing and if it wasn't for his healing factor, he might have had a heart attack. It seemed that the side-effects were even more severe than Sinister had realized. As Creed gazed at his now transformed employer he found himself getting feelings he hadn't had in a very long time if ever. He could certainly say one thing about the transformation; it wasn't in any way 'aesthetically displeasing'.

Sinister was panicking now; virtually hysterical as he frantically tried to think what had just gone wrong. He knew it was something drastic but whether it was a slight imbalance in the chemicals, a malfunction of the equipment or a simple case of Murphy's Law he couldn't say. The last thing he remembered was that loud explosion and waking up to find his laboratory in ruins and feeling somehow changed. Now worryingly he was getting some very odd looks from Victor Creed, open admiration and could it possibly be the first signs of love at true sight?

"Creed I don't like the way you're looking at me, stop it this instance," snapped Sinister frowning as he wondered quite why his voice had gone up a couple of octaves.

"Essex ya might want ta take a look in the mirror but I can tell ya this, yer looking mighty fine," purred Creed and yes that was definitely in a loving tone.

Sinister rushed past the feral that stood lost in adoration and then a piercing scream filled the air as Essex caught sight of his or rather her reflection in the mirror. Yes the effect had been extremely severe and Mister Sinister had now become Miss Sinister. Still tall but shapely, slender with a figure most women would have killed for, skin still pale but creamy, black hair now shoulder length, straight raven tresses which were glossy and lustrous, burning red eyes now an exotic violet and even the cheekbones were perfect. In short Sinister was now an extremely beautiful if somewhat sinister woman, a gothic beauty who if Creed was anything to judge by no man could resist. As she gazed at her reflection Nathaniel (no it would be oh Natalie now) Essex realized that she had just fallen in love with herself. A frown marred the perfect countenance for a second and she shook her head.

"I am beautiful but I've got to change back, still my shape-changing power ought to handle this," 

To Creed's relief and Natalie Essex's dismay it seemed that in addition to the change in gender, her powers were much diminished, shape-changing seemed to be gone altogether. Also it seemed that the super-strength and energy bolts were gone as she found to her considerable regret as Creed decided to give her a comforting hug. Nor did the teleportation work as she struggled in vain to break free of his gentle embrace. Creed kissed her on the cheek and purred contentedly to himself, as far as he was concerned Sinister could stay this way forever. At last Creed had found the frail that he could truly love.

Then Creed frowned, his darling beloved Mistress Sinister was crying and Creed soon found that he was sobbing too. Tears ran down his cheek, into his sideburns and he sank to his knees overcome with grief. He'd never felt so sad in all his years, not even after having the tar beaten out of him by Logan, not even after his favorite team lost the baseball series. Essex dried her tears and looked down at Creed, could it be that the loss of her old abilities was being compensated by the addition of new ones; maybe she had some sort of empathic ability. Smiling she reached out and gently began stroking Creed's shaggy blonde hair.

"Creed I think I may need some help since I can't begin to find a cure for my present condition with my laboratory destroyed I can't even find the cause for this change. I'm going to need help from someone whose knowledge of genetics and sheer intelligence is equal to my own. I can think of only one man who could possibly fulfill this monumental task. Creed we need to get the aid of Beast," whispered Essex.

"I'll do anything fer ya darlin, ya only need ta ask and I'll be glad ta aid ya with helping ta persuade Hank that yer in need of his help," growled Creed.

"Good boy," said Essex with a smile and she awarded Creed with a kiss.

**The next day at Hank's lecture**

Hank was feeling a much happier man now, he knew he looked good in this new suit and he'd gotten an admiring glance from Trish Tilby. Apparently she was filming the work at the university for a news report and she'd called him over. At her suggestion that they patch things up Hank had smiled politely but gently refused, he said he wanted to take things slowly and see how they went. Of course he would get back with her sooner or later but not today. Besides he took a certain vindictive satisfaction at leaving her hanging although true gentleman that he was he did feel rather guilty about this. Still he was looking forward to the lecture and it seemed that from the eager talk that so were the students. He was getting a lot of stares but for once none were hostile, simply curious and that made a nice change.

Hank took the time to smile at a tall pale if stunningly beautiful woman who was glancing his way. She smiled demurely and waved back to him and then was lost in the crowd. Hank stroked his chin thoughtfully, he could have sworn he recognized another face in the crowd, tall, muscular, blonde, rather hirsute, thick muttonchops, amber eyes but what could Sabretooth be doing at a lecture? No he was probably just imagining things such as that the woman had seemed oddly familiar. Hank placed these thoughts at the back of his mind and concentrated on his coming lecture.

"Now Creed remember the plan, after the lecture you will pretend to be attacking me. I will call for help and hopefully Hank being a consummate gentleman and generally heroic will come to my aid. You will then engage in battle but you will throw the fight, don't injure him badly so no eviscerating or ripping out throats. After a little while pretend to lose, just pretend he's hit you hard and withdraw, snarl a few threats and say you'll be back to finish the job," ordered Essex.

"Ya know darlin I ain't too happy about deliberately throwing a fight, I mean it's going ta be bad fer my image. On the other hand when ya look at me with those eyes, how can I refuse ya?" Creed murmured as Essex batted her eyelashes at him.

"Good boy," she purred and kissed him on the cheek.

**After the lecture**

Hank bowed as he received a standing ovation; maybe the students had just been there for the spectacle of seeing a former Avenger who also happened to be a furry blue gorilla. Still whatever the reason he had soon enthralled them with his wit, his intelligence, his suave charm, not to mention his humbleness. There had for a change also been no sign of any mutant haters and was that Trish Tilby waving to him, maybe he would go and see what she wanted after all. He was feeling magnanimous and mending a few bridges would make what was a very good day perfect.

"I'm going ta rip yer throat out frail, I'm going ta gut ya and feast upon yer entrails," roared Creed as terrified screams filled the packed lectured hall. Actually he very much wanted to take Essex gently in his arms and kiss her but still whatever she wanted.

"Help me please, someone save me," shrieked Essex trying hard not to laugh.

"Stars and garters ma'am, help is on its way," called Hank shrugging off his jacket and bounding towards Creed. He was going to teach him a severe lesson for this, besides he could do with a little action.

"Oh great I needed some action and my but Hank's looking just great. Get those cameras rolling," yelled Trish, this was going to get her a Pulitzer for sure.


	2. The Fur Shall Fly

**The Fur Shall Fly**

****

Essex's efforts to fend off Creed were not entirely fake; in between growling various threats the feral was purring and gazing at her lovingly. The kisses themselves weren't too bad but were it really necessary for him to give her those affectionate licks, particularly given his habit of eating raw meat and hardly ever brushing his teeth. Sinister gave a little shriek and struggled fitfully although the urge to giggle was almost uncontrollable. Also his sideburns were tickling his nose and she felt she was going to sneeze at any minute. Creed growled again and Sinister screamed piercingly noting to her relief that Hank was now almost upon them.

"Now remember what I said about throwing the fight and not badly hurting him. Creed, kindly remove your hand from my thigh this instant or I shall be forced to result to crude physical violence against your person."

"I love it when ya talk dirty darlin," purred Creed.

Trish Tilby was in heaven, a battle between Hank and Sabretooth to rescue a beautiful woman from death was sure to be a headline story. There was Hank bounding into action and Trish found herself lost in admiring his beauty. Having discarded his jacket, the short sleeved white shirt contrasted nicely with the blue fur, Trish found she couldn't tear her eyes away from watching the muscles ripple in his forearms. The look of steely determination in his blue eyes, the glint of fang as he flashed a grin to the watching humans, the way the tight shirt showed off his muscles. Trish knew she was falling in love with him all over again and once this fight was over, she'd tell him that and then they'd be together again.

"Hey here kitty, kitty, kitty," hollered Hank hoping to distract Creed from his prey. The feral's mouth was agape and he was bending towards her, doubtlessly about to rip the woman's throat out (or kiss her like she'd never been kissed before), well he would save her. The first taunt hadn't worked so he would try out another.

"I tawt I taw a puddy tat, I did, I did taw a puddy tat," called Hank.

"Yer so going ta regret that bub," growled Creed releasing Natalie and turning towards Hank.

Snarling he rushed towards Hank and slashed wildly with his claws. Hank twisted managing to mostly dodge the blow, escaping with a ripped shirt (which delighted Trish and quite a few other women) and a few scratches to his side. His return blow was a good solid punch to Creed's nose. Creed snarled and punched Hank back, remembering that Sinister had told him not to use the claws. Hank grunted as his ribs creaked with the blow but now that Creed was at close range he might have the advantage. Wrapping his long muscular arms around Creed's chest he squeezed hard, forcing the breath out of Creed's lungs. Creed struggled frantically to get free and finally sank his fangs into Hank's arm. Yelping in pain Hank released the feral who gasped for breath.

Hank was taking advantage of the momentary break to reflect his amazement at still breathing, he'd have expected to be eviscerated by now or at the least far more badly injured than a few scratches, some bruises and a bite. For some reason Creed seemed to be holding back, perhaps he was toying with Hank wanting to prolong his enjoyment of the fight. Well Hank decided that it was time for the kid gloves to come off; Creed was one enemy he didn't have to hold back against. With his healing factor he would recover from any punishment Hank dealt out to him and Hank would need to go all out if he wanted to put down Creed.

"Had enough yet fuzz-ball, I'm going ta go easy on ya if ya surrender," snarled Creed.

"Stars and garters, I can hardly believe this, have you gone soft in your old age?" chuckled Hank.

Predictably enraged Creed snarled, growled and charged blindly at Hank, slashing with his claws but Hank was dodging easily using his superior agility to literally run circles around Creed. The claws ripped fabric, fur but not skin, he got a few more superficial scratches to add to his collection but that was all. Sabretooth howled in frustration and charged, Hank was taken aback by the ferocity of the assault and a roundhouse punch to his jaw sent him staggering back. He recovered quickly and this time it was Creed who was astonished as Hank leapt forward like a blue furry torpedo and slammed into Creed's chest. While the feral was still stunned Hank grabbed him bringing them both down to the ground. They rolled over and over, a tangle of blonde and blue and Hank was grinning, he was actually winning this fight. A few more punches came but it was clear the feral was almost spent. Hank broke the grapple and rose smoothly to his feet, while Creed was still struggling to rise Hank grabbed the astonished feral by the collar and lifted him into the air.

"Hey put me down," growled Creed.

"I can bench press three thousand pounds Creed and you weigh only a fraction of that amount. Let's see how far I can throw you."

With a yelp Creed was flung straight through the air to crash heavily next to Trish Tilby. As he lay in a groaning heap Trish bent down and held out a microphone. She'd finally broken out of her entrancement at the fight, she'd been drooling every time Hank's shirt got ripped and had been heard muttering 'just look at those muscles'. Now like all good reporters she decided it was time to conduct a little interview.

"So tell me Sabretooth how it feels to know that you're such a loser and that you just suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of that gorgeous blue hunk over there. I mean when all is said and done he basically whipped you and made you seem like a kitty cat. Guess you're just a paper tiger," sneered Trish.

"I'm going ta make ya eat that microphone ya freaking frail, after I've ripped yer throat out," snarled an enraged Creed as he crushed the microphone in his hand.

Trish shrieked as Sabretooth leapt towards her claws extended but then a large blue furred hand reached out and grabbed Creed's ankle stopping him dead in his tracks. Creed turned to see Hank snarling and realized he'd just made a major error. There was absolutely no mercy in Hank's eyes and the fang filled snarl was enough to send a chill into even Creed's heart. He could only watch as Hank drew back his fist and punched him in the jaw with all his strength. Lifted right off his feet Creed flew through the air, crashed against a wall and slumped to the ground in a heap.

"Ya hit even harder than the runt," growled Creed before lapsing into unconsciousness.

"Oh my hero, you saved me you handsome hairy hunk of a man, oh I must reward you," simpered Sinister rushing over to Hank, flinging her arms around his waist and kissing him firmly.

Hank was still a little stunned at just how violent he'd been he'd almost gone berserk just like Wolverine. When he'd though Trish was going to be killed something just snapped inside him. Now this woman was kissing him and there seemed something awfully familiar and even sinister about her. Hank gently disengaged from her grasp.

"I love you," whispered Essex.

"No ma'am you don't love me. You're mistaking gratitude for me saving your life for love. I don't want to take advantage of you, using you like that wouldn't be fair. Maybe some other time," murmured Hank apologetically.

"Oh Hank, I just want to say that I've never been prouder of you, saving us all from Sabretooth was the bravest thing I've ever seen. You looked so handsome as well and well I guess I was just crazy to dump you like that. I want us to get back together," Trish was practically bellowing right in his ear.

Hank accepted her kiss and allowed her to ruffle the fur on his arm, wincing only slightly. Taking stock of his injuries he noted deep bruising, that bite on his arm, numerous scratches and possibly a cracked rib. Still he'd gotten off lightly. He kissed Trish back and went over to the unconscious Creed slinging him over his shoulder. A quick trip to the nearest dumpster to deposit Creed and he came back to the anxiously waiting Trish.

"Trish when you dumped me I was extremely upset and I still feel hurt. I'm not angry with you but well I'm just not sure about us getting together. Maybe if you apologized in front of all these people I'd agree to get back together."

Hank blinked his blue eyes mildly at Trish and there wasn't a trace of guile on his furry blue face. The crowd was muttering in agreement, his bravery still fresh in their minds meant that for once just about everyone was on the mutant's side. Trish was obviously desperate now for them to get back together because she went down on bended knee in front of him. Cynically Hank thought that reconciliation with her heroic savior would probably make an already strong headline just perfect.

"Hank please forgive me, I was stupid, insensitive and cruel and I hurt you. I'm sorry for this and would you find it in your heart to forgive me."

"Of course I'll forgive you Trish," said Hank gently and she smiled.

"So how about dinner tonight then Hank, now we're back together?"

"Trish I said that I forgive you, however I'm not ready to renew our relationship yet, I said that maybe I'd agree and perhaps I still will. Just not today Trish, goodbye," 

Hank gave her a friendly wave and felt only slightly guilty at the look of hurt and disappointment on her face. Well now she knew how he'd felt and Hank true gentleman that he was had forgiven her and perhaps another day he would be ready to renew the relationship. For now though it wouldn't hurt for her to be the one left waiting. Maybe next time she'd consider his feelings a little more.

"Oh well you win some you lose some, still we've got a great story here. Hey what do you mean, the camera got smashed by Sabretooth?"

Hank meanwhile found Bobby waiting for him at the gates, he raised an eyebrow at seeing Hank's somewhat battered state and then he gave his old friend a gentle hug. Hank hugged Bobby back and after giving him a pleading look he got Bobby to scratch him gently behind his ears. Relaxed Hank began to purr and he was purring even louder when Bobby told him a piece of great news.

"Stars and garters, Cecilia is back, well that's great news. That fight with Sabretooth took a lot out of me, but now that she's back I feel bouncing and blue and good as new," purred Hank.

"Yeah but I'll tell her you need some urgent medical attention, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to give you plenty of tender loving care," said Bobby with a rather knowing grin.

"My what a filthy mind you have Bobby,"

**A nearby dumpster**

"Oh why does he have to be such a gentleman, I was so sure this plan would work," wailed Natalie Essex, tears coming to her eyes.

Creed woke up when he heard her crying and dragging himself painfully out of the dumpster gave her a comforting hug and a kiss.

"Hey darling, at least ya still got me," he gave a startled grunt as Essex shoved him back into the dumpster.

"Get off me you filthy animal, you've just ruined my dress and I'm going to have to shower like for hours now. Oh well I've just thought of another plan. I'll pay a visit to the mansion, say that I want to express my gratitude and that I'm a mutant, yes that will work," purred Natalie smiling once again.

**The mansion**

Hank was feeling a much happier man now, relaxing on the sofa with Cecilia sitting next to him. He was allowing her to gently stroke his soft blue fur just the way he liked it. It turned out as well that he hadn't had a broken rib and with his resilience and quick healing he'd probably be fine in a day or so. Hank thought this was a good thing, especially given what Cecilia had planned for him. Actually there were some things they would both have liked to be doing now but Jubilee and Bobby were both present which rather put a dampener on things.

"So are you going to tell me just how you managed to beat up Creed Hank? I've got to tell the story to Wolvie, I bet he's going to be really jealous that he missed out," said Jubilee giving him a scratch behind the ears.

"Actually I already spoke to Logan and shared my suspicions with him about Creed holding back. He agreed to me that there's something rather strange going on. Somehow as well that woman seemed dangerous to me and I could swear we've met before."

Hank shook his head and helped himself to another Twinkie.

"Still no need to worry now Hank, you just rest and let me look after you. Personally I think you were very brave and you'll always be my hero," Cecilia smiled and kissed his furry cheek.

"Hey we'd better put the TV on or we're going to miss the start of Buffy," called Bobby.

"Stars and garters, we can't have that," gasped Hank in mock dismay.

Hank settled down with his friends to begin a pleasant evening of well deserved rest and relaxation. He purred contentedly as Cecilia began ruffling the fur on his shoulders. This felt very nice indeed.

Meanwhile Remy had just answered a knock at the front door and was surprised to see a rather beautiful woman who seemed somehow familiar. Suddenly he felt an overwhelming urge and next thing he knew he was kissing her deeply and passionately and without even knowing why. If he'd known he was actually kissing Sinister he would have had a cardiac arrest. At the same time Natalie Essex was considering having one herself.****


	3. Unwanted Visitors

**Unwanted Visitors**

****

"Chere, Remy think dat you de most belle woman dat he has ever seen. You also think de same way about Remy oui?" whispered the Cajun.

"Y-yes I d-do," stuttered Essex unable to tear her gaze away from those red on black devil eyes. She knew that Remy had empathic abilities, listen to his words, stare too long into his eyes and you were lost as he stole your heart.

Unfortunately for both of them the attraction was mutual, Sinister's new pheromones making her equally attractive to the opposite sex fortunately not to the same effect they'd had with Creed. Still it didn't take much for Remy to fall for a woman and now he had eyes for no other. They kissed again and this time Sinister welcomed it, after all she was a woman now and Remy was exceptionally handsome. What harm would a little romance do after all? Surely one little kiss wouldn't hurt and it wasn't as though he knew just who he was really kissing.

If he did find out he'd probably kill himself but not before he killed me first, that's if he didn't just have a heart attack on the spot. There's another thing as well, now I'm a woman I still feel just a little uncomfortable with kissing men, I mean I just never used to think of myself as inclined that way.

"Remy hear dat you were attacked by Sabretooth and dat must have been so frightening chere. Remy want you to know dat you safe now with dis Cajun chere, he will see dat no harm come to you s'il vous plait."

Unfortunately there was danger approaching as Remy spoke in the beautiful form of Rogue who certainly didn't appreciate how 'friendly' Remy was getting with this admittedly attractive stranger. She knew all too well Remy's certain weakness for beautiful women and the fact that just about any woman who met him fell for the Cajun charm. Frowning she recognized the woman from Hank's description, the one he'd saved from Sabretooth and who'd seemed very keen to reward him. He'd also told her about his suspicions, that she wasn't in any real danger from Sabretooth and that Creed had been holding back in the fight. 

"Alright Mystique yah may be mah mother but yah can get yah hands off my Remy. What in tarnation do yah think yah doing anyway trying tah seduce all the X-Men? Ah'm going tah have tah ask yah tah leave now sugah," snapped Rogue picking up Remy rather roughly by the collar and dumping him on the floor.

"I'm really not who you think I am," protest Natalie Essex truthfully.

Rogue gave an unladylike snort and was about to bodily haul Sinister out of the front door when Sinister decided there was only one cause of action and accidentally brushed her hand against Rogue's cheeks. The merest of touches and Rogue suddenly realized she'd made a mistake, there was something familiar about the woman but she definitely wasn't Mystique. Natalie meanwhile decided it was time to use her secret weapon by bursting into tears. Remy was still moaning quietly to himself rubbing his sore ribs but Rogue found somehow she was on the verge of tears herself.

"I don't ask for all this attention but men just seem to be constantly throwing themselves at me. It wasn't so bad with him, he's handsome but this morning I was ambushed by this well werewolf creature and I thought he was going to rape me. I ran but he kept chasing me and I ended up in the crowd and now this man said he was going to kill me. Then he saved me, I wanted to come here and thank him and ask for your help," sobbed Sinister.

"Oh sugah, ah'm so sorry ah should have realized yah were a mutant and that yah didn't ask fer yah gift. Ah bet that's why old Sabretooth was so gentle, he was too besotted with yah. Well sugah yah come tah the right place, we're the X-Men and we'll always help a mutant in need. Ah bet Hank will be only too happy tah help yah," Rogue said gently putting a comforting arm around Natalie's shoulders. She was regretting her earlier conduct, after all how could she have been so paranoid to think that a harmless woman like this could be a threat.

"Oh I hope so, I really hope so," whispered Sinister trying not to cackle triumphantly.

**Kitchen **

Logan was in the kitchen having one of his beers and a good brood at the same time. It was times like these that he wished he still had those cigars, a good brood just wasn't the same without one. Still he had been running the problem over and over in his mind and Creed had definitely been holding back. Now why would he do a thing like that unless it was something to do with that mysterious woman that Hank had saved? Maybe she'd set up the whole thing to get close to Hank which probably meant she was working for one of their enemies, maybe Hank's personal nemesis the Dark Beast or another of their major enemies like Mystique, Magneto, Sebastian Shaw, Sinister or even Apocalypse. Logan growled under his breath as his concentration was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Logan bared his teeth in a snarl, shaggy brows narrowing as he scowled, maybe it was that woman come to try her look again. Popping out his claws he went over to the door and yanked it open, just sheathing his claws in time as he caught the scent, just Trish Tilby, a nuisance maybe but not a danger. Trish took one look at the growling feral whose hirsute face was menacing at the best of times. She cowered back and let out a short scream. Logan just stood feeling somewhat sheepish as she recovered her composure. From the little black dress she was wearing he guessed she'd come to try and persuade Hank to come to dinner with her.

"Logan you nearly gave me heart failure, just try not to frighten people so much in future please. I mean here I am expecting my darling Hank and instead I get someone nearly as hairy and a lot more menacing. I know you're a feral and you've got that sort of rage thing but you could at least try and keep it in check," Trish said sternly poking a finger into Logan's chest.

"What do ya want darlin?" growled Logan.

"Well I was quite hurt by Hank's behavior, after I'd publicly apologized to him and he just threw my offer to renew our relationship right back in my face. All those people were looking at me like I was dirt as well. Do you have any idea how upset I feel? Well I'd like an apology from Hank and he can at least take me out to dinner," Trish's voice was dangerously close to a whine.

"Well ya ain't getting a shred o' sympathy from me Trish. At least now ya know how ya make Hank feel whenever ya decide ta dump him 'cause yer career might be harmed by yer mutant boyfriend. Yer constantly splitting up with him, breaking his heart then taking him back when ya get all guilty and ya string him along fer a bit only ta throw him aside again. Hank doesn't need ya darlin, he's got another woman now, one who actually cares fer him rather than getting a Pulitzer."

Trish Tilby looked taken aback and then her eyes narrowed and she gave Logan a vicious slap on the cheek. Eyes filling with tears she turned on her heel and ran out of the door slamming it shut behind her. Logan rubbed his cheek and gave a rueful grin. He did feel slightly guilty; despite his rough exterior he didn't like offending or hurting women's feelings. Still he felt that Trish had needed to be told and he certainly wasn't going to let her cause any more trouble in Hank's life not now that the fuzzy blue fellow finally seemed happy again. In Logan's opinion that was Hank's major failing, he could be a little too tender hearted and forgiving. Luckily for him he had a certain feral to look out for him.

"Maybe it would be better ta keep this ta myself at least fer a while. I doubt that fuzzy is going ta appreciate me interfering in his affairs even if ya know what's good fer him bub," muttered Logan to himself.

He scratched his chin in thought and decided to help himself to another beer.

**The lounge**

"Please Hank have mercy on me I beg of you, show me a little of that compassion you're so respected for," pleaded Bobby as he knelt before Hank.

Hank furrowed his shaggy brow and then sighed heavily; well he was feeling rather magnanimous so maybe just this once he could allow Bobby a two hundred and fifty point lead instead of the usual two hundred. Of course he'd probably still win most of the Scrabble games but it would make it more of a challenge. Jubilee had also managed to secure a similar lead by the far simpler method of just looking at Hank with those eyes of hers. That glance could reduce even Logan to tears so he'd stood no chance at all. Anyway the dear child was at present on the verge of collapsing from a fit of the giggles so he'd better relent. Hank raised a hand in surrender.

"Stars and garters, you may have the lead Bobby even though you took the last Twinkie,"

Maybe he should have joined Cecilia Reyes as she did her research in the laboratory. Wrestling with the Legacy Virus was probably a less formidable task than surviving an evening with Jubilee and Bobby in such a mischievous mood. He was liable to either lose his sanity completely or end up with his fur turning completely gray. Or maybe he'd undergo another spontaneous evolution and become oh a lion or something and wouldn't that be a surprise to them all. He'd offered to join Cecilia but she'd gently refused and told him to relax and enjoy the rest he'd earned. He'd assented willingly enough although he did have his doubts when Jubilee had hugged him and told him he was her favorite furry blue gorilla. Now he almost wished that Sabretooth would turn up since another fight with him would probably be more relaxing right about now.

"Right so if you lose then Hank you have to agree to do whatever we want for the rest of the evening. If you win Bobby does all the chores tomorrow and I have to go shopping with you. Everybody agreed," Jubilee's smile was dazzling, she'd successfully managed to talk the two men into a plan that no matter what occurred she came out a winner.

"Hank ah has got a visitor for yah sugah, would yah be so kind as tah come and see her?" asked Rogue popping her head around the door.

"I most certainly shall," said Hank thankful for his reprieve.

**Sinister's lair**

Victor Creed had just about managed to squeeze himself into the tuxedo although his rather burly frame and broad chest meant he had to leave the top couple of shirt buttons undone and the sleeves were a little short. His claws did tend to have a little trouble tying the bowtie as well so he'd left it off. Now he admired his reflection, he'd showered and washed his hair and had remembered to shave for once and to trim his muttonchops. Stroking his newly smooth chin he grinned, he looked good and he was sure Natalie would like it.

"Yeah I look like a real gentleman now, how can she resist the charms of Sabretooth," he rumbled to himself with a pleased little growl.


	4. You're No Gentleman

**You're No Gentleman!**

****

"Why it's you again, this is really a most pleasant surprise ma'am," Hank was quite proud of the fact that he managed not to stutter.

He wasn't exactly lying either because although unexpected and just a little awkward he'd been secretly hoping to see the mysterious woman again. She was just as beautiful as he remembered with the pale almost alabaster skin, those enchanting violet eyes and those two splendid; being a gentleman Hank quickly averted his gaze to the woman's face. Again it was a good thing he didn't know he'd just been checking out Sinister let alone had found them attractive or it would have given the phrase 'love your enemy' a whole new meaning. Managing to compose himself he smiled trying not to show too much fang and extended his hand for her to shake. He could catch a faint almost indistinguishable smell and wondered whether it was her perfume, indeed it was perfume of a sort or rather pheromones.

"I apologize for my rather lackluster attire, if I'd known we were going to have a visitor I would have changed," mumbled Hank trying and failing to produce a witty conversation opener. It was so hard to think of anything in the presence of this woman.

"Oh I've already seen you smart Hank, may I call you Hank? The T-shirt shows off your muscles very nicely and all that lovely soft blue fur. May I have permission to stroke your fur, I want to see if it's as silky smooth as it looks," gushed Sinister turning on the charm.

This was actually the first time Sinister had ever seen Hank in casual attire, usually he'd just been in his usual trunks during combat or smartly dressed for one of his public appointments like earlier that day. Hank's rather scruffy appearance contrasted strongly with Natalie's who had dressed to kill so to speak. Sabretooth had certainly enjoyed helping her to choose the costume; his tongue had been hanging out of his mouth when Sinister had put on that little black cocktail dress, not to mention the naughty lingerie she was wearing underneath. Hopefully it wouldn't become necessary to show Hank the lingerie as unlike Sabretooth or Remy Hank wasn't controlled by his testosterone. Essex admired Hank's brilliant mind but despite being a woman now she still felt uncomfortable about the thoughts of kissing men. If they knew who she really was the men would be rather uncomfortable as well and Remy would probably have hung himself.

"You want to stroke my fur? Well stars and garters, you may but try not to ruffle my fur too much, it takes a lot of work to get it this immaculate."

Hank found that surprisingly a lot of women were attracted to him and it seemed for most of them the blue fur was part of the appeal. They always seemed to want to run their fingers through it, to stroke him and see if his fur was really that soft. Hank didn't really mind being stroked and quite enjoyed it sometimes as long as it was with his permission. After all he wasn't a dog or a cat although occasionally people assumed that because he looked like an animal they could treat him like one. The only people he usually allowed to stroke him were the people he was closest too. Usually Jubilee who knew full well that sending him into a state of bliss made him that more susceptible to her suggestions, Cecilia Reyes was the person he most liked to stroke him at the moment and those surgeons' fingers gave her a light delicate touch. As for Bobby, Hank's shoulder had ached for days when his friend had fallen asleep while watching the television and leaning back found a perfect substitute pillow. Hank just hadn't had the heart to wake him not even when Bobby had mumbled something about teddy bears and hugged him so tight around the neck he nearly choked.

Now as the fingers gently brushed the silky blue fur along his forearm he found he'd never felt quite this level of pleasure from a simple touch before. He literally purred with the sybaritic pleasure of the stroking just like a giant cat or like Sabretooth when he'd got a nice juicy steak.

Natalie Essex smiled as she'd finally vindicated her theory of Hank's popularity with women; it was the fur after all. Now regrettably she couldn't spend all day stroking the fur no matter how pleasurable it might be she had the important task of persuading Hank to help her. She repeated the sob story she'd given Rogue knowing Hank would be an even softer touch; she hardly even needed to turn on the tears. She simply told him about being a mutant and her unwanted gift. She expressed hope that Hank would help her, despite his bestial looks he was the first true gentleman she'd come across in a long time.

"My hirsute atavistic bestial visage isn't aesthetically displeasing to your feminine sensitivities beauteous gentlewoman," murmured Hank.

"No you're really rather cute. Oh please kind sir will you help me?"

"Stars and garters ma'am, indubitably I shall,"

**The lounge**

"What are they doing now Jubes, you said you could hear him purring," whispered Bobby.

"Yeah I think she was like stroking him and oh man, they're probably going to be like making out soon. That is like so disgusting, I mean not that I'm jealous or anything but I don't see why some fancy trash that Sabretooth had should get her hands on my Hank," hissed Jubilee.

Jubilee would be the first to admit she had a jealous streak, she was well known for her sharp tongue and acid comments although she usually reserved them for Logan's many female companions. Usually with Hank she didn't bother and she tolerated Cecilia since she was an X-Man. She just didn't trust this woman, for all they knew she could have been working with Sabretooth; it might even be Mystique in there snuggling up to Hank. No woman was going to hurt her friend not while she was there to protect him, if she thought she could win Hank's heart with her feminine wiles she'd have a firecracker and a Popsicle to deal with. There was no way in hell that Jubilee and Iceman were going to let her get her hands on lovely cuddly, furry, bouncy, witty Hank. As far as Jubilee was concerned the woman could go back to Victor Creed and leave her friend alone.

With their ears pressed against the door, they were too busy listening to the conversation and pulling faces at the cloyingly sweet simpering from Natalie. They didn't notice the kitchen door opening and someone nearly as hairy but a lot gruffer than Hank enter the room. They didn't notice the heavy thud of his boots, the hiss of him unsheathing his adamantium claws or even his abrupt cough. Frustrated with them not paying attention Logan resorted to a low menacing growl.

"Oh man, oh man, help its Sabretooth," shrieked Bobby diving behind the sofa in sudden panic.

"Oh Wolvy, you nearly gave me a heart attack," scolded Jubilee.

"Sorry darlin but I just wondered what the flaming hell ya thought ya were doing with yer ears ta the door like that."

"Well Hank's in there talking to this woman, you know the one that Sabretooth was after. I think they're starting to get all snuggly," said Jubilee not bothering to keep the disgust out of her tone.

Logan growled again deep in his throat sending Bobby cowering further back behind the sofa. Adamantium claws extended and retracted as Logan wrestled with his feral half, trying to keep a berserker rage in check. He'd already had to see of one woman who'd bring Hank nothing but trouble without having to contend with another. No woman was going to hurt Hank if a certain feral had anything to do with it, like it or not Hank was going to get his protection.

"Leave it ta me darlin,"

Jubilee smiled and stepped aside as a determined Logan opened the door to confront Natalie. One way or another it would all be over in a few minutes.

**A few minutes later in the kitchen**

"My, those pheromones really are quite potent," said Hank as he gave his chin a thoughtful scratch. He tried and failed to restrain his laughter and his booming chuckled resounded through the room.

The arrival of an angry Logan snarling and with his claws extended had panicked Natalie causing her to jump up into Hank's arms. A glare from normally mild blue eyes had stopped Logan cold and the feral had immediately felt deeply ashamed. While he'd as happily disembowel a man as look at him sometimes he certainly didn't like upsetting a lady. He'd looked somewhat sheepish and began to apologize when he'd sniffed the air catching the heady scent of the pheromones. Hank had felt their potency earlier and with the heightened sense of smell possessed by Logan the effect on him was considerably more powerful. His hazel eyes had lit up and a pleasant smile had spread across his hirsute vaguely lupine face. Before Natalie knew what was happening Logan was kissing her deeply and passionately.

"Please Hank try and stop him, this is bringing back those awful memories, please get the feral off me," begged Natalie.

"Of course ma'am," said Hank somewhat contritely.

He gently but firmly managed to grab Logan's arm and pull him away from Natalie just in time as an outraged Jubilee came storming into the room. She'd caught a glimpse of Logan, her Logan kissing that woman and calling her darlin, which was all too much for Jubilee who decided it, was time that Natalie Essex knew where she stood. Five foot of angry Chinese American teenager, blue eyes glittering with rage, yellow coat flying about her stormed into the room. Firstly she went over to the unfortunate Logan and kicked hard in the shin causing a loud echoing clang followed by a yelp as she nearly broke a toe on the adamantium.

"Hey what did ya do that fer darlin," grunted Logan more surprised than hurt.

"Leave it Logan and don't you bother with a fancy scientific explanation Hank because I'm not in the mood," snarled Jubilee turning to Natalie.

"Oh hello you must be the lovely Jubilee, my friends told me all about you," said Sinister desperately in a friendly a tone as she could muster.

This was like a red rag to a bull though and the fireworks erupted from her fingertips, far more powerful than usual due to her anger. Natalie shrieked as she was nearly blinded and then hurled across the room her dress in tatters. She banged her head against the wall and her scream of pain was loud enough that for a moment the X-Men thought that Banshee had paid them a visit. Logan snarled a curse as he found his muttonchops had been singed off and Hank was desperately trying to put out his fur which had been set alight.

"Like maybe I overdid it just a little," muttered Jubilee weakly as she blushed crimson.

**Main door**

Hearing the commotion in the kitchen and deciding that the sofa just wasn't safe enough Bobby decided it was time to make a quick getaway. Maybe he'd go to the swimming pool and ice it up, and then he could hide in ice form and hopefully escape any further craziness. Better yet maybe he ought to just say take a trip to New York and come back in a few hours when hopefully things would be back to normal. He just hoped that the next day would be more relaxing with something boring like having to foil Mystique's or Magneto's latest attempt at world domination. Actually Bobby thought arm wrestling Juggernaut or taking on Apocalypse all on his own would be safer than hanging around here at the moment.

He tiptoed to the door thankful that with his sneakers he could move stealthily when he had to. All that sneaking down at night for a midnight snack had paid off. He made his way to the door and to safety and just as he opened it he got the shock of his life.

"Hi Bobby have ya seen Natalie Essex?" growled Creed politely.

The sight of a clean shaven, freshly scrubbed Sabretooth with neatly trimmed sideburns and wearing a neatly pressed tuxedo with a carnation in the buttonhole was the last sight Bobby had expected to see. The fact that Sabretooth was giving him a slightly goofy but definitely amiable grin was all too much for Bobby to cope with.

"Oh man, I just can't take it any more," wailed Bobby before bursting into tears.

"Hey take it easy bub," said Creed soothingly reaching out to give Bobby a friendly pat on the back and a comforting hug if he needed it.

Not unreasonably Bobby fainted dead away.

"Oh darn," growled Creed.


End file.
